Beyond Budgets: Addressing Grief in Nonprofit Leadership
by Michael Anderson
Let’s take a minute to acknowledge one of the critical characteristics of nonprofits in crisis that often remains unsaid:
Grief.
Staff and board leaders alike are carrying grief, and it’s affecting how we talk about today’s challenges and the decisions we make to address them.
Some of the ways we see grief showing up in our practice:
An executive director who cannot bear to face the operational cuts (i.e., staff) they simply have to make.
A CEO not ready to let go of a vision to achieve a greater scale of impact, even when it proves to be financially unsustainable.
A Board member who has to take part in a vote to close a program dear to their heart.
In times of crisis and transition, especially in the partnership work we do, grief is a normal part of the process, even for highly competent leaders. Tangelo Tree’s role is to create and hold space for the emotional journey, while still moving processes along.
If grief is showing up in your organization, it’s time to work with it rather than trying to push it aside. Some tips from our practice:
Create space for vulnerability: Build time and reflection into meetings for emotional needs. It doesn’t need to be long - even taking a single big breath together can help a group overcome dysregulation. Be aware of all the factors that make vulnerability hard - personal relationships (both good and contentious), intersectionality, business norms, and the pace of change.
Repeat key messages: The hard truths may take many repetitions before they can be accepted. Grief is often accompanied by denial, and the repetitions reinforce reality.
Use multiple messengers: What one person can say gently, another can express forcefully. Sometimes gentleness is what’s called for, and other times we need the clear kindness that a direct voice can provide.
Be human: Find ways to reconnect everyone with their human emotions and with each other. I once had a board all hold hands while taking a voice vote that was going to fundamentally change what they'd built together -- it was very powerful!
There is no easy way to work through grief, particularly when we’re trying to adhere to project timelines. As consultants, we see our role as holding space equally for the complexities of partnership work and the depths of emotion it can arouse.
If you need a trusted partner and guide for difficult work and decisions, talk with us - we’re here to create and hold space for whatever needs to be expressed.
